Can You Handle Success?

What price success? All the days, weeks and months even years spent toiling away, hatching ideas, burning the midnight oil, sacrificing and working non-stop seven days a week to finally reach that fulfilling pinnacle of lifestyle and personal achievement not to mention the boatloads of trappings, homes, cars, vacations, prominent friends, contacts and high-level associates in a life that is so completely glamorous that it makes everyone that you ever knew envious.

So many of us are driven to reach this plateau and will follow any self-imposed formula to achieve it. We crave the admiration and accolades of everyone we ever knew both old friends and bitter enemies. If they could see me now is always in the back of our minds and we wait for that glorious moment when we can truly feel it. That calm and quiet confidence that comes from the attainment and sweetness that can only be described as prosperity, accomplishment, a personal best. It’s the splendid fantasy life that we dream of. A place where we are significant, elegant and let’s face it…just plain big.

So why, when we come so close to creating our own little Xanadu, do we falter, miss the target, wallow
in frustration?

Could it be that that thing we so crave is also something that scares us half to death? In fact, could it be that we are in some way hard wired for self imposed mediocrity or perhaps even
worse…failure? Perish the thought!

Why is it when we conceive of the perfect idea, the concept that has the capacity ignite the passion within, settle us in our own blissful world and provide the wealth and prosperity we crave do we crash and burn like a paper helicopter on a windy day?

And what’s the most common reason that most of us do not follow up on our crazy, “It sounded so good in the middle of the night” schemes and ideas? because we are deathly afraid of failure, or so we say. Too risky. Too busy. Too much work, competition, bad marketplace etc. All these factors would inevitably lead us to failure it seems…or do they?

Let’s face it, failure is humiliating. Nothing stings more than the thought that people, those who you know well and love you and even more importantly those who can merely be called acquaintances will look at you in a different way. Do they pity you? Find a kind of pleasure in your miserable failure? Label you as just another one of those dreamers? A near do well? An unlucky nobody? Maybe. But the truth is that most of us are less afraid of failure than we are of success. But how could this be so when we are so desirous of the trappings, the emotions, a very personal
fantasia, our own special sense of place that can only be realized with earthly success? Because success is far more complex than failure ever could be and very few of us are truly comfortable
there.

To experience true success means entering unchartered territory. It means standing out rather than fading into the crowd. It means that the “meanies” of the world, some strangers and some people you know very well will scrutinize you, criticize you, demean all your valiant efforts, your actions, hell, even your very personhood. And who wants that?

In a previous article I mentioned the Internal Demon. If you can recall that is the little nasty chatterbox inside each one of our heads that spends the days and nights narrating our world for us and telling us what we cannot do, be or achieve. Reminding us with every babbling word how useless we really are, how foolish our dreams are and anyway…who do we think we are?

What it boils down to is also the discomforting thought, “Am I worthy enough to walk amongst those people that I and everyone else holds in such high regard? Am I good enough? Strong enough? Smart enough? Stylish enough? Or will everyone in that circle see me as I truly believe I am, just a regular person with no special talents, ideas, or real contributions, a bit of a wretch actually.
So, we procrastinate. We make excuses. I’m lazy. I’m busy. I don’t have the time, money, contacts, know how, experience and the list goes on.

Naturally, one of the most interesting and creative excuses for not pursuing success is to tell yourself that it’s not something that you want. Indeed, you may be the kind of person who is loathe to the idea of enjoying a successful life. After all, don’t you just despise all those arrogant successful types with their fancy cars and pushy attitudes? Isn’t it just so much better to be the little person you are now, loved by all your friends, co-workers and relations? No threat to anyone. No reputation to protect. No need to continue the act of making the you behind the you better or more interesting with every new action or venture? Isn’t it just too much work to be focused on all these issues? And after all, in the end will being successful get you a better spot in heaven? Or is being your plain little old self, loved by all the other people who hate successful types, not enough?

In addition to all this reaching the pinnacle of success also means embracing change and that is something that most us do everything in our power to avoid. Change is scary. It only stands to reason then that success is scary too. So, we concoct a series of not only the excuses mentioned above but a myriad of behaviors that have an overwhelming impact on our personal pursuit of success. In doing so, we can tell people that we are working very hard to become successful but sadly it consistently eludes us. In other words, we become masters of self sabotage.

And there are classic behaviors that lead us there. Some of these self sabotaging behaviors include, not finishing any project, talking about what you’re going to do more that doing it, working like mad on several projects at the same time never completing anything, still working on the same project five years on, allowing yourself to be distracted by anything and everything and acting like a perfectionist constantly punching up your work.

If you are fortunate enough to became a true Bohemian, then you will have recognized that some of these behaviors, thoughts and actions were a part of the old you and that for far too long you avoided success, or it eluded you, or you were frustrated by the actions of pursuing it or perhaps you’ve spent much of your life telling yourself and everyone around you that you had no real desire for success. That you wouldn’t like the person that you would become. That you would be rejected by the people in your life right now that love you.

But success is more than the traditional description that we all recognize. Success in it’s most basic form almost always defined by materialistic trappings. The acquisition of real estate, cars, clothes, and a privileged lifestyle. After all isn’t that the simplest way of measuring and defining it? But what about those people who aspire to loftier goals? What about the concept of giving? of
contribution, of discovery? Do we not celebrate the individuals who bring us to a place where our lives are enriched without the need of a credit card? If you are one of the lucky individuals who recognizes that success does not have to equate to obnoxious behavior, that even if your old friends abandon you because they are jealous or mean spirited, you will make new friends. That the criticism of “meanies” in the world will happen whether you are successful or not and that it’s important to recognize the fact that at least 10% of the people out there will dislike you just because. And that has nothing to do with how successful you are or not.

One significant characteristic the true Bohemian possesses is to be comfortable in his or her own skin. Bohemians recognize that it doesn’t always have to be perfect, that you don’t have to work on five projects at a time to be considered worthy, that finishing is as important as starting and that deadlines can be very, very useful tools.

So, ask yourself this question now…can you handle success? If your answer is yes then you are truly on the very rewarding path to becoming a true Bohemian.